June 13, 2020

Happy Saturday Everyone!

A subject that pretty much everyone is talking about lately is this crazy pandemic. We have adjusted to working from home, wearing masks, zooming, and giving air hugs pretty quickly. It’s weird isn’t it? 

One huge change for me during this time of Covid is that instead of getting up Sunday morning and heading to church, I now “go” to church by turning on the TV and sitting on the couch. To be honest, there are things about this I REALLY love. I can wear whatever I want, my dogs can finally cuddle with me during a sermon, I can pause it to go to the bathroom (or grab more tea)! There is ONE thing however that I have THE hardest time with.......watching myself on TV.

As many of you know, and for those of you who do not, I play keys in our worship band. I’ve been doing it for a while now and that in itself made me overcome a lot of insecurities about my body while recovering, being in front of people, dealing with panic attacks from being on stage and needing to be “...

June 6, 2020

Hello Everyone! 

I had planned on writing a blog on a completely different topic this week, but then.....this week happened. The death of George Floyd has rocked our country to it’s core. Protests, both peaceful and destructive. Pain, racism, arguing, learning, listening, educating, discussion, opinions. It’s all been very overwhelming and emotionally draining if I’m to be honest. Especially on the heals of a pandemic that is still going on!? I can’t even process it all and I have a feeling a lot of people reading this are in the same boat. However, it’s something I can’t ignore and also something I wasn’t sure how to talk about in a blog about eating disorders and my recovery. I thought about not blogging. But that didn’t seem right. I thought about just writing about how it’s hot as hades out and the circumference of my arms is really getting to me. But that seemed kind of superficial compared to the things going on. I thought about giving my opinion on everything and sharing how Blac...

May 30, 2020

Happy Saturday everyone! We made it through another week!

I’ve decided for my first “real” blog back I’m going to take on a pretty controversial topic. MEDICATION!

Before I jump into my experience with meds, I want to say that this blog is in no way meant to convince you to take or not to take medication. I have absolutely no judgement towards anyone on this matter. I’m a big believer in the whole, “to each their own” when it comes to meds. I myself have been on both sides of the fence. If talking about meds triggers you, just pass on this blog today! There are MANY reasons to take or not to take medication and that is always for YOU to figure out for yourself. I’m simply going to share my journey with medication in the hopes that by sharing, someone may relate and feel less alone, or it may bring light to an otherwise hidden/secret part of recovery.

Here it goes!! Pray for me!!

When I first entered treatment I was dead set against taking meds. Now, just to clarify, by meds, I’m talking me...

May 23, 2020

I’m baaaaack!!!! Oh, and happy Saturday!

As you may have noticed, I haven't blogged in a hot minute. Almost eight months to be exact...YIKES! But I’m back, ready to share how my recovery has been going and how God has been working in me and through me during this time! 

I’ve received a LOT of questions while I took this break! Like...

Have I relapsed? 

How do I deal with anxiety? 

Am I alive?! 

Am I losing the overshoot weight? 

Am I still having panic attacks on the regular?

How do I stick to a meal plan?

I promise, over the next few blogs I will answer all of these questions and more :)

So, WHY did I take a break from blogging?

Last September (2019) I was in a bad place. Almost like a passenger on an airplane, on the runway, about to take off for a super amazing vacay, but the plane wasn’t leaving the freaking ground. I felt stuck. My panic attacks were constant, my weight wouldn’t budge no matter what I did, my depression wasn’t getting worse, but it certainly wasn’t getting better. I was doin...

September 21, 2019

Happy Saturday!!

As I’ve shared in recent blogs, the past year, and even the past few months have been especially challenging to say the least. Moving, renovating, my husband traveling most of the week, finding a new team, dealing with a healing body, feeling isolated in the burbs....you know!  It’s very very easy to get down in the dumps and feel hopeless when I have non-stop panic attacks, and I am still recovering. I never thought it would take this long (even though I was told it would), and I never thought my body would recover like this, (even though I was told it would), I never thought it would be this hard (even though I was told it was)!

I learned a long time ago that in order to stay on track, maintain hope and not relapse it is very important for me to acknowledge and celebrate the small wins/changes/met goals along the way. At times this can feel invalidating to the pain of recovering. Like I’m just trying to grasp at straws to find something  to make recovery...

September 14, 2019

Hi!

I think it is important to acknowledge the truth of recovery. My fear in writing this blog is that it might scare someone out of recovering. On the other hand, it might help someone feel less alone and relate to me about recovery. Either way, PLEASE, if you choose to read this blog, read it all the way to the end. The reasons why recovery is worth it FAR surpass the reasons why it is hard. Sometimes the hardest trials make us the strongest.

So....

To those who are struggling with an eating disorder...

To those who are deciding whether or not to recover...

To those who are recovering and want to quit...

Here are ten reasons why recovery is hard....and then TWENTY reasons why you should do it anyway!

Why it's hard...

10. Weight Gain. It's unavoidable. In anorexia recovery, we gain weight. Sometimes a lot of weight. Sometimes so much weight that we overshoot our normal weight until our body feels safe to go back.  The weight gain is hard. It's feel bad. It causes insecurity....

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