July 21, 2018

Happy Saturday everyone!!! I don’t know about you but this week seemed SO LONG!

Do any of you have a song that the minute it comes on you are like, wow, SAME!?

So there is this Dave Matthews song, So Damn Lucky, that I play pretty much all the time. I would put it in my top ten favorite songs of all time. It’s one of those songs where the lyrics just seem to click with the current situation and you get all the feels because well, relatable! Since Dave and I haven’t sat down and chatted about what the song is actually about I make my own assumptions and to me it’s about how in one moment, everything can change. Sometimes the change feels like slow motion, or it feels like you are spinning and have no idea what is going on, or you just want to go back to that moment right before it all happened. I’ve been feeling all of these a lot lately. I feel lost, dizzy and wishing I could just go back two and a half years ago and decide not to do any of this. 

One of the lyrics that really sticks out...

February 12, 2018

I think I’ve mentioned before that I am a youth leader at church! I absolutely love being a youth leader and I 100% believe that God has called me to work with high school girls. When you have made as many life changing mistakes as I have, and have a God who has offered me as much grace as he has, I find it obvious and crucial to then turn around and share this good news with others! Hopefully along the way imparting some wisdom I have gained to help guide these younger ones, so that they can avoid/escape some of the pots holes I fell into. 

Another reason I love leading in the youth group is that it honestly keeps me on top of my game.  I value being an authentic and real leader, therefore I need to practice what I preach. If I’m telling you to spend time daily with God, I need to be spending time daily with God. If I’m telling you that His plan is good and to be trusted, I too need to trust in His plan and believe it is good. 

This semester I am leading a study...

July 8, 2017

I missed blogging last week. I’m sorry! It was for a good reason though! 

I was on a youth group Missions Trip in Guatemala! My husband and I have been youth leaders for almost five years now. (1) As a youth group we sponsor many kids through Compassion International and every couple years we go on a short term missions trip to meet them. My husband and I also sponsor a little girl ourselves! The purpose of this trip was to go down to Guatemala, meet the kids we sponsor and serve their communities!

If I’m being honest, I kind of dreaded this trip. 

Eight months ago I sat in my dietician’s office and brought up the Missions trip. My husband and I wanted to go, but I didn’t want to go with my body like THIS, and we had to decide because spaces were filling up quick. I was still swelling a lot, overweight and weak. I had been sedentary for about a year and even going on long walks was draining. I felt embarrassed to meet the girl we support because I am much larger now then I was in the init...

June 24, 2017

It’s summer! As we all know, summer means less clothing coverage, beach vacations, diets to the max and body image issues. Our hidden and hibernating winter bodies are now out for show and the stress of making them look good, or hiding what doesn’t look good, is in full effect! I would venture to say it is a recovering anorexics worst nightmare. This nightmare, while terrifying, also brought about my first taste of freedom from my eating disorder!

For the past few years my immediate family has headed down to South Carolina for a beach vacation. Typically I would start preparing for this months in advance. I mean, I had to wear a bikini so it was crucial that my wobbly bits firm up and I look as fit and thin as possible. My eating disorder was in full control. I would do cleanses, cut out food groups, count the calories of every morsel that entered my mouth and exercise for hours on end. I became an expert on the newest diet, and nothing would get in my way. My mind was completely consum...

June 17, 2017

“Oh, why you look so sad, the tears are in your eyes,

Come on and come to me now, and don't be ashamed to cry,

Let me see you through, 'cause I've seen the dark side too.

When the night falls on you, you don't know what to do,

Nothing you confess could make me love you less,

I'll stand by you,

I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,

I'll stand by you

So if you're mad, get mad, don't hold it all inside,

Come on and talk to me now.

Hey there, what you got to hide?

I get angry too, well, I'm alive like you.

When you're standing at the cross roads,

And don't know which path to choose,

Let me come along, 'cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you,

I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,

I'll stand by you.I'll stand by you,

I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,

I'll stand by you.

Baby, even to your darkest hour, and I'll never desert you,

I'll stand by you.

And when, when the night falls on you baby,

You're feeling all alone, you're wandering on your own,

I'll stand by you.”

I’ll Stand By You,...

June 10, 2017

One thing that continues to surprise people is that an eating disorder is not about the food. It is a mental illness that is about control, not an issue with food itself. The food is just a symptom of a deeper problem. It’s kind of hard for me to write that it is a mental illness because, well, that would mean I am mentally ill, and who wants to be that?! There is something wrong with my mind. Somewhere along the line things went wrong, and this voice popped up and decided to take over the show. My mind decided this was the best way to cope with problems. I personally wish my mind had chosen travel, or photography or mission in order to cope....Nope! It chose eating disorder.  I know what went wrong, and that is a topic for another time, but nonetheless my mind was taken over by this nasty voice. 

This voice is powerful and has the ability to wreck me with one blow. It has the ability to change my mood, emotions, desire to eat, my sense of worth, my values, my body image and i...

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© 2017 by Sara Mann. Proudly created with Wix.com

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