We made it to another Saturday! YESSSSS!
Recently I have been emailing back and forth with a fellow recoverer (is that word?) and she wrote something that actually had a really large effect on me that week. She wrote, "I hope this email finds you in a really good place. And if not, that's OK, you are allowed to be "not good" too!"
What?! This is the first time in a long time that someone told me I'm allowed to be "not good!"
I'm always striving to recover, put on a brave face, tackle the anxiety, face the facts, be positive, trust in God, not let it "get me down," fight the thoughts, eat the food, ignore the scale, accept the fat, and sometimes, it's REALLY hard. Sometimes, it's not OK! Sometimes I'M NOT doing OK!
So, inspired by one of readers and fellow recoverers (again, is that a word?) I want to also say to you, IT'S OK!!! Here I go....
It’s ok to have a bad day.
It’s ok to feel down.
It’s ok to feel like quitting.
It’s ok to have regrets.
It’s ok to say no when you need to take care of yourself.
It’s ok to say you are not hungry.
It’s ok to feel hungry.
It’s ok to hate the overshoot weight.
It’s ok to look at your body and wonder how this happened.
It’s ok to stay home on a Friday night and recoup.
It’s ok to be angry at your therapist.
It’s ok to question how much you eat.
It’s ok to need a break.
It’s ok to ask God questions.
It’s ok to mess up.
It’s ok to be proud of yourself for eating!
It’s ok to be angry at the reason your eating disorder happened.
It’s ok to be annoyed at how long recovery is taking.
It’s ok to wish it was over faster.
It’s ok to look at a person who is diet talking and ask them to STOP.
It’s ok that eating a meal is exhausting.
It’s ok to be in a bigger body and wear cute clothes!
It’s ok to unfollow people that are not helpful or conducive to your recovery.
It’s ok to want your old body back when things are hard.
It’s ok to EAT!
It’s ok to not work out today.
It’s ok to get angry at diet culture.
It’s ok to wear stretchy and baggy clothes while you recover to feel comfortable.
It’s ok to put yourself first during recovery when you need to.
It’s ok to leave an event early when you have hit your max.
It’s ok to stand up for yourself.
It’s ok to want a snack!
It’s ok to be scared of the unknown.
It’s ok to not count your steps, your calories, your macros or pounds.
It’s ok to remove yourself from conversations about weight, food, dieting, exercise or
disordered eating because it's triggering.
It’s ok to buy a size bigger.
It’s ok to set boundaries with people.
It’s ok to slip up and try again.
It’s ok to find a new doctor if the one you are going to sucks.
It's ok to not explain everything to everyone.
It's ok to need a hug.
It’s ok to forgive yourself for having an eating disorder.
It’s ok to take medication if you need it.
It's ok to be scared to take medication.
It’s ok to stare at a menu and cry.
Its’ ok to eat right after eating
Its ok to feel hungry and eat after a workout.
It’s ok to eat more then the person sitting next to you.
It’s ok to eat fast food on a road trip instead of packing your own food.
It’s ok to eat when you are hungry.
It’s ok to cancel an appointment.
It’s ok to not answer a phone call.
It’s ok to need and want to be alone.
It’s ok to speak up.
It’s ok to change your mind.
It’s ok to start again.
It's ok to love yourself.
What is NOT ok is quitting recovery. It is hard. There are ups and downs. There are great
days and ugly days. It’s not ok however, for these thoughts to consume us and lead us to relapse
or make unhealthy choices. Sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves or someone else is to say, It's ok. Just. Keep. Going.
- Sara -