INWARDLY RENEWED

Let’s play a game!

Can you point out what’s different between the first photo and the other photos?

Answer: ummmmm pretty much everything other then they both are checkout lanes with a person scanning your food and you pay!

Let me tell you a story and what I noticed.

About a month ago my mom and I went to the Amish Home & Garden show. While we were driving home we stumbled upon the Amish Ashery bulk store that had a sign saying lacy swiss cheese, $3.84 a pound. We decided we MUST stop in and get some cheese and meat and whatever else tickled our fancy.  ( I mean, I pay like $7.99 a pound for this stuff usually so this is a no brainer..) It did not disappoint. We picked up not only cheese, but lunch meat, maple syrup, maple peppered bacon, and all the yummy things. 

When we went to check out I noticed something. There were no magazines anywhere. There was a shelf that had some candies on it and some mini pies. THAT’S IT!  

As I walked away from the Ashery I realized a few things.

1. ...

I want to take this blog post as an opportunity to talk a little bit about my thoughts and feelings on my husbands Q&A blogs the past two weeks! First of all, I want to thank my husband, Wyatt, for taking the time to answer all those questions and for being as honest as he was! My husband travels a lot for work and I know he sat up late in hotel rooms thinking through and answering all those questions. So I'm really grateful for that! I also know that as cliche as it sounds, he is a guy and he doesn't always love to re-hash the past, or deal with emotions let alone talk about them, so I'm actually really proud of him for sharing how he feels about my time as an anorexic as well as my recovery. Also, I'm the one with the blog and desire to share my recovery with the world, not him. So for him to open up to people he hasn't met with some really personal things I think was pretty dang brave and I hope it helps anyone who reads it!

I know from talking to some of you that you wonder wha...

Heeellllloooo everybody!

Wow! So based on feedback it seems you all really enjoyed last weeks Q&A with my hubs! If you haven't read it yet you can find part one of the Q&A here! I was asked this past week if these were really his answers, and YES! They are! I spell check (I'm no english major though, so all you grammar police, calm down) and we take out anything that might be a liiiiittle TMI, but these are his actual thoughts and answers. I'll respond more to his answers in my next blog!   I really hope that this Q&A gives a little more insight as to what it is like to be married to someone going through anorexia and recovery, as well as encouragement to love and support someone you may know going through it! 

This week we are onto PART TWO of our Q&A with my hubs! Enjoy!

24. Did you need support yourself when she was anorexic or during recovery?

I did, though I resisted for quite a while.  Guys don’t like to think that they need help with most thing...

 Well hello there! It's definitely been a hot minute since my last blog. I apologize. The good news is that I have lots to blog about so I'm going to be jumping back in again! I needed this break from blogging. The last month has had a lot of ups and downs with my recovery and I needed to take a step back and re-assess my goals and what I was doing, and I can't wait to share about it! BUT first things first! A couple months ago I mentioned that my husband was willing to do a little Q and A about my eating disorder and recovery, so if you had any questions to send them on in! Well, you all did NOT disappoint! I received a little over 40 questions for him! WOW! Seems like you all REALLY want to know my hubs thoughts about my anorexia, recovery, weight gain and sex life. (eeeek!) Since there were so many questions we have decided to break them down into two parts. This way you don't get overwhelmed and so my husband can take his time answering all of them!...

So I think this past week or so I could win an award for feeling sorry for myself. I definitely was spending more time in whine mode (not to be confused with the much more preferred wine mode), fretting about my situation and keeping myself in a constant state of boo-hoo.

This always tends to happen when I’m waiting on test results. I have had a lot of testing over the past couple months and the anxiety it brings is pretty outrageous. I’m a “worst case scenario” type of person. When it comes to my recovery, I’m the forever pessimist. Sure, I have moments of hope and confidence, but when it comes to testing, I just can’t seem to beat the blues. I think it’s because I’ve been getting my veins pricked basically every other month since I started this whole treatment thing. If it’s not a prick, its a pee cup or pee paper or saliva swipe or even spit tube. Anorexia left me with a LOT of health problems and therefore testing, testing and more testing. Testing causes me to live in a lot of fear...

Shopping use to be a different experience for me. There was the time before anorexia, when I was at my normal weight and also the time I was anorexic and extremely underweight. During both of these times (because I was either fit and thin or WAY too thin), finding my size at a clothing store wasn’t a problem. Sure I needed to find clothes that looked good on me and fit my body shape, but finding a size to fit me was never a problem. When I was anorexic it was even less of a problem because I basically was a walking hanger. Of course when I was anorexic, shopping brought about it’s difficulties. I was insecure about my body, never thought I was thin enough and oddly enough would never wear tight clothes. Either way, I prided myself with my style. I LOVED to shop! I have a dinner party to go to? I’ll get an awesome new outfit! Oh, I’m going to Italy? I’ll bring an EMPTY suitcase with me for all the cute new clothes I’ll buy! I had a closet that was what I considered amazing and very “me!...